Lil (bt not so) tots

every1 thinks dat his/her opinion, tote, point is correct, for a certain time in their lifes whether or not dey change b4 or afta is a diff matter. Wat matters is those certain points in their life, ok mayb not exactly points, bt moments, n oso how long those moment(s) last...durin those moments, dey can affect u in a small or big way, in a -ve or +ve way...it can spark off a small, innocent fight wif ur frens, family or any1 u noe...it can cause dat same lil argument 2 escalate 2 a greater height, not dat any1 1ted dat in de 1st place...n in dat moment, dat toteful moment, v can even hurt n/or scar de ppl v talk 2 wif or w/o noeing it, er, emotionally of cos.

It can lead us 2 believe dat v can do things v 1 2, bt is practically, technically, theoritically impossible tho v dun think so in those moments. Frm there a feeling of disgust, of a certain lvl of spite, of disappointment, emerges, hatches, grows. Those feelings v hold 4 those who did not 1 2 go ahead wif wat v were thinkin. No, it's true. No matter how or wat u try 2 tell urself or those around u (or me 4 dat matter XD) there is these thing...broodin in us...will it go away? Prayer is all v can do, it is. No self-encouragin words, or self-motivational books nor chattin away n bickerin about our probs 2 any of our frens will wash it all away, no matter how hard v wanna believe it will. It wont. I hear u say, "why dun u try, at least?". Why? It's like askin sum1 y dun u try out drugs, it mite not actually kill u. Or mayb askin sum1 "hey, y dun v go 4 a round of russian roulette? Cos u noe...it's fun n it mite all juz turn out ok ;)". Oh but wat if it doesnt? Wat happens 2 de person pullin de trigger, worse is wat if de guys pointed de guns at each other n tried firin? A part of us dies dat's wat. U c examples everywhere around u bt u stil stick 2 wat u think is rite, wat u feel is ok 2 do, livin in dat moment, for dat period of time.

N oso, livin in dat moment, it can oso cos u 2 feel dat u're greatly inept at wat u r doin. 2 cos u 2 look down upon urself n therefore perform worse, much worse den u actually r. N frm there everythin juz goes all de way down the hill, rollin, rollin, rollin...wishin dat u'll do better at de nex turn bt unbeknownst 2 our frail lil self our unconsciousness thinks ourself 2 b de same useless piece of meat, if not worse.

N so wat reli matters now is can v realise these moments 4 ourselves? Do v stand up n say i will change? Or is dat wat v v'll say 2 others bt never, truly, 2 ourselves? Do u say "wat de hell is dis guy rantin on about? Does he think he's sooo rite? I dun think so."? Oh, do u now? Well, perhaps u're now in dat moment, perhaps.

Bt afta all dat's said n done wat 1 thinks is up 2 one's self. It doesnt reli matter whether it's really rite or not. Cos humans can sumtimes b so dumb dat dey dun even realise de dumb things dey've done up till now, so much so dat dey dun even admit dey r dumb. N dat oso brings me 2 de nex point which is, yes, i do realise there is a gud side 2 each point i mention above, bt honestly...ask urself is it reli more often dat v think totes dat r 100% +ve 2 ourselves rather den de -ve 1's. If I slipped in de gud points rite afta de bad u mite not even think about anythin at all. Bcos when it comes dun 2 it, eventho adam n eve did eat de apple of knowledge of gud n evil, seriously, v mostly dunno hw 2 separate de both especially when it comes 2 dealin wif ourselves. So, if u've managed 2 read up till dis far, er congratulations i guess. Bt wat matters is wat happens afta dis. Whether or not sumthin struck a cord in u, whether or not if it was de rite cord. Again, it's up 2 u, fellow human.